Masked Menace Stages Jewelry Heist!

Last night, a jewel store was attacked by a gang of armed thugs, and who do you think showed up? That’s right! Spider-Man! The so-called “hero” swooped in, webbed up the criminals, and stopped the robbery before anyone could get hurt. Now, the police want to call this a heroic act. I call cahoots! Let’s look at the facts, people! These criminals just happened to rob a jewel store, and Spider-Man just happened to arrive at the scene immediately? What are the odds! I say Spider-Man hired these thugs himself, staged the entire robbery, and then swooped in to save the day, leaving the public cheering for him! So before you start calling Spider-Menace a hero, ask yourself: who really benefits from all this? The jewelry store gets publicity, Spider-Man gets another headline, and the so-called “thugs” conveniently take the fall. Coincidence? I think not! This city deserves answers, and I, J. Jonah Jameson, will get them! The Daily Bugle